an outrageous birthday party

The Hardies always dream up, and pull off the most outrageous parties. Last night was no exception.

It was Clinton's birthday (he'll be forever one of my heroes for giving us D&D)

There were cupcakes,


sparkling wine,




helium-balloons,




chipmonk-laughter


and lots of horribly good singletrack.

and the mandatory hot chocolate at the spur afterwards.

Happy birthday Hardy!!!

Happy Birthday Dark&Dirty!

Congratulations, DarknDirty, on your 5th birthday!

I discovered them almost 4 years ago. Since then i've cycled many a happy kilometer with them, and in the process met Gauteng's coolest people. And always returned home dirty and happy after a ride.

The rides have been muddy, dusty, wet, dirty, thrilling - even fiery. There were ghostrides, noon to moons, beeg nite outs, christmas rides, photo-shoots, hot coffee on freezing nights, an ice-cream ride-through and lots of cupcakes.

We had to gave up some of our routes to city developers, we've discovered other routes. We saw owls and guinea pigs, we've fixed punctures and lights, we've taken people to hospital or pushed them home on bikes without pedals, or took turns to ride the seatless bike. We've taken many a tumble, we've discussed the meaning of life, we've told ghost stories, we've found adventure racing buddies, and shared the war stories afterwards.

We wrote stories about it.

And we always returned for more.

CONGRATS D&D, here's to many more!!!!

carpe noctem

'You guys are crazy', the guy said as he left with the celebrity at the bottom of Cornwall downhill rush.
'but i'll be back'

That's what they all say, the newbies.
They all think cycling gnarly downhills in the dark is slightly crazy.

What is it, then, that makes them keep coming back for more?

The string of lights ahead and behind you when you get onto cruizer, your first singletrack for the night?
QT making up songs while we wait for oupa gerrit to fix a light on vetseun?
The technical challenges of unexpected short steep climbs or rocky ascends?

We know it's not the smell that transformed paul's bike into a scott stinky :)

maybe it's the thrill of rushing down cornwall
or the expressions on newbie's faces after their first downhill rush :D

seeing the river in flood while you ride on what's gonna become the new R21.
seeing, but not being part of, the traffic in the city way below.
knowing that in the other houses, people are sitting in front of their tvs with their tv dinners.

Bundu-bashing through the veld, then climbing up routter's route with 11 likeminded people. initailly 14, which included our celebrity for the evening, samantha oosthuisen - we were obviosly too hardcore for her :)

Personally, i think it's chasing lights down eric's trail that make people come back. staying on the bike always helps :)

Or maybe it's arriving at the top of quadbuster hill to champagne and cupcakes (thank you QT!!!!)
Or chasing down look ma no brakes, or python. yes, it must be python that makes people want to ride D&D again and again!

The roadies or epic-trainees come back week after week for tour de tar, or that tar-climb on cornwall. oupa gerrit might graciously allow you to ride in his slip if you don't want to chase the bunch and if you can keep up with him.

The mountain bikers come back for the final singletrack and kakiebos on cruizer.

Or maybe the the endorphin-overload, or the hot chocolate or beer afterwards.


Or maybe because while they're riding, they're alive.


Whatever their reasons: here's to many more!!



thx oupa gerrit who lead us, mummy man who swept, and clint and qt who kept us all together (and organised the cupcakes)

Rock & Roll

It was Thursday Night again.
We've had the official Dark&Dirty Year-end party ride, but with traffic between Joburg and Pretoria calmed down a little, I nagged Oupa Gerrit for a ride.

He agreed, and I dragged Gadget and Agteros to the ride to show them what REAL mountain biking is about.

Oupa Gerrit was the competent leader.
Herman (whom Oupa Gerrit poached on a Sani2C ride) was the sweeper. Between them were
- William, who forgot his light so bought a Pick&Pay emergency light
- Gadget, the x-freedom-challenger and my Joberg2C partner
- Agteros, an x-roadie whose conversion to mountain biking is almost complete
- Gideon, not a newbie, but because I haven't been there myself for almost the whole year, whom i've never met

We sped off to the top of Big Dipper. Searched a little in the grass for it. It was far gnarlier than I remembered it - only at the bottom did Oupa Gerrit confess that we weren't on Big Dipper at all - we found the right track, and then went on to the Cornwall RUSH. The last time I was there, there was still a gate and the downhill was all powdery. But WOW - all the sweetness and gnarly-ness of THAT downhill is back! Then on to St Georges, up Roetter's Route, then down on the Shebeen-Queen track to find the turn-off to the light-chase, where Gadget did some emergency-repairs to Agteros's brakes (it was HIS excuse) while the rest of us caught our breaths.

Then down Mine Shaft, through Blair Witch, and back to Roetters Route, this time down. Up that heartbreak hill koppie, then on to do Quadbuster, down Look-Ma-No-brakes at break-neck speed (this is why i cycle!), up Python, and on to Tour d'Tar.

I never wanted the ride to stop.
I never wanted the evening to end.
I wanted to be nowhere else.

Roetters Route has never been this fast.
Blair Witch was never this pretty.
Cornwall Rush hasn't been this gnarly for years.
Quadbuster was as tiring as I remember, Look-Ma-No-Brakes was FAR better than I remembered it.
Python has never been sweeter! The mud dried out a little, so it grips the tyres on the corners; I just wanted to go back and do it all over.

Has Tour d'Tar always started right at the bottom? And has Joburg always had THIS little oxygen?
Up Big dipper where William had an unfortunate incident with his bike and his cycling shorts and a rock and his bike's seat.



On to Cruiser and then back to the Moo Mall for some hot chocolate - a perfect end to a perfect evening.

Champions for the night:
- Night Light Chase: Oupa Gerrit
- Quadbuster: Herman
- Tour d'Tar: Agteros

Stats for the night:
- Distance: about 30
- Mechanicals: none
- Involuntary dismounts: William: 5; haven't seen any others - which is amazing considering what the wannabe-Big-Dipper looked like - not to mention Cornwall RUSH.
- Total vertical ascent: about 400
- Smileage: LOTS

THANK YOU to all involved - when can we do this again??

It looks like rain, dear

It was the annual Dark & Dirty Xmas Ride. Decorate your bike, your helmet and yourself in Xmas attire and take the singletrack to Lawley Street to admire Pretoria's lights.

I braved the 2-hour-traffic to Pretoria to go empty my mailbox in Groenkloof. (I originally kept the mailbox as an excuse to go ride D&D - and it worked!)

I happened to have the bike on the car - still muddy from the 24 hrs.
Haven't been at a D&D ride for a very long time - was surprised (and relieved) to see so many familiar faces.

Dark rumbling clouds warned of wet weather to come. It was ignored, and QT made up songs as we rode.




Old familiar singletrack - I forgot what a joy it was!

End of the World, but the bridge looked totally different and crossing the road was scarier than i remember. Then Gauntlet, but perfectly good singletrack had to make way for Gautrain-excavations :(

Up King of the Hill to the old D&D centre, and then learning the Jinglebellride-song's words as we ride on tar up & down some hills.


singletrack, singletrack, riding in the night
oh, what fun it is to fly on singletrack at night

we riding singletrack
on our bikes at night
we're on our way to lawley street
where all the cars go 'beep beep beep'

*all together now*
singletrack, singletrack, riding in the night ...


On to Lawley Street, Pretoria's fairytale-Xmas-light-street - complete with horses pulling a pumpkin-cart - and some reindeers :)




Lighting-flashes, camera-flashes, xmas-lights, bicycle-lights.

When the rumblings became too loud to ignore, we headed back past the old D&D centre again - where the Hardies revealed their Xmas prezzie to us all: drive-through ice cream at macDonalds (where of course we all had to scream for ice cream)




The cloud rumblings became louder and the flashes more frequent, and bets were placed on whether we'll beat the storm to the Moo Mall.

We missed a turn-off and took a grass-route into the airforcebasewall-singletrack. Almost at the cemetry there were loud noises of surprise from Hardy. Legs on the singletrack. Don't know who skrikked the most - hardy or the body attached to the legs. Then the balancing act through the narrow-alley under the bridge and racing the rain on tar all the way to the Moo mall.

We reached the mall as the first drops fell. Still dry. The heavens opened. By the time all the bikes were on cars - about 4 minutes later - everybody was drenched.

Hot chocolate and all-day-Thursday-specials at the Spur. And some prezzie-exchanges.

Another uneventful D&D ride.

Here's to lots more for 2010.

The right to write the ride report

Random thoughts about nightriding

Sometime during the course of the year it became the task of the first person to fall, write the ride report - It must have been after Krummel stopped riding, 'cos it would have been monotonous to have him write the report week after week :-)

It was easy enough to avoid being selected as the designated ride-report-writer: just keep the falls inconspicuous and witnessless.

But the dust, the Russian explaining his long absence, the slow speed down the foreign new sweet track, the invisible rock, the inattention to where you're riding (listening and chatting away, instead) all conspired to what the Russian called one of the more spectacular endo's he'd seen - although not by far anything like his legendary sabie-classic-endo (he took an hour to recover the bicycle) - but that's a story for another day, and for someone else to tell.

So I won the right to write the ride report - together with a lot of bruises, minor human-stan's loss and a few more scratches on the well-abused bicycle.
---------------------
It was a warm summer's night. There was no rain yet to turn the dust into mud.

Some people were recovering from the bull; others were at the banf-movies, some were in Turkey, and yet others' bicycles were in for a service – so it happened that there were only 9 intrepid riders for the Thursday-night-ritual.

Hardy greeted someone whom he saw on tv the previous week – the same someone was later seen wheely-ing up one of the hill challenges. It later emerged he's some or other duathlon-champ.

There was some new track (Can we do it again? Can we do it again?), some old familiar tracks; some ups, lots of downs, always around the searchlight that emanated from the Moo Mall (for Powergirl, to orientate her). There were pleas to go do last week's downhill-course again, but Hardy was firm: only when Eric is back from Turkey.

Cornwall downhill was very dusty, lots of loose sand, very low visibility and not nearly as much fun as it used to be :-(

The tunnel after it made up for the lack of cornwall-thrill, though.
Some more ups and downs - the ever-enjoyable sweet singletrak-downhill , the always-thrilling-always-fast ghostride track (with lights to light up the dust, as the moon was only a sliver).

We stopped at one of the favourite birthday-spots for oupa Gerrit's birthday party. Deekay's chocolate cake was remarkably intact, considering the abuse that it took in his backpack (including surviving a tiny little fall?). Blowing out of the candles, champagne, cupcakes, cappuccino-muffins - it was probably the first time that there was leftover cake after a D&D party!

Then some more ups and downs – the python, a tour de tar, some Vetseun, some Big Dipper, hot chocolate afterwards. As always, an honour to share the dirt with you.

-------------------------

Thank you DK, for looking after me and checking if everything was ok after the minor endo :)

Note to self: next time you plan to go do the afriman duathlon, don't fall off your bicycle the Thursday night before. If you absolutely *have* to endo, then don't hurt you knee so that you can barely walk the next day. And if you can barely walk the next day, and it's about a week before G4, then listen to your buddies telling you *not* to go hurt your knee further by attempting to run 21 kay or similar. Not a good idea. For future reference.

Chronicles of the Knight Riders (part 2)

The story so far:
A storm is brewing, familiar trails are rutted and new, some new unfamiliar trails were added to the mix. The knightriders started from the new centre, and are about to descend down Big Dipper.
The Mummy was bombing down the singletrack at almost the speed of green light. Suddenly the red taillight disappeared. Could the drop-off at the bottom be this close already? Could they really have gone that fast? No, it was just the first of many spectacular falls for the night.
Singletrack: 1. theMummy: 0.
The Mummy was found a good few metres from his bicycle. The red taillight and parts of the green handlebar-light were more difficult to spot, but after they collected all the missing bits, pieces and breath, they were off again.
The erosion and new ruts made the drop-off at the bottom of the hill considerably more technical than during winter.
Drop-off: 1. Oupa Gert: 0
Quick responses learnt on many nightrides prevented the Drop-off to claim a bigger toll.
So, forwards and onwards our Knoble Knightriders went. Forwards and onwards to the Dark Side.
Aaah, the Dark Side, where Alonzo thought he could ride over The Pipe. The Pipe, with its metre-high stakes on the left, and its 2-metre drop on the right. A less able ride would have fallen over to the left.
Pipe: 1. the Pied Piper: 0.

----------
Add Break
Tired of your straight backwheel? Need a new Pringle on your bicycle? Need an excuse to replace your back rim?
Come ride the PipeTrack with the PipeMan himself!
Every Thursday night from the new D&D centre. Bring your helmet, your buddies (for spectators and eye-witnesses), some plaster, and plenty of tools.
-----------
On they went, to QT's drop-off, down the Long, Sexy Seductive singletrack. By now all the knightriders learnt a healthy respect for blood, mud & ruts. So they all walked down Kamakaze drop-off.
But wait! Stephan haven't had his customary fall for the night. Not to be outdone by any of the other entertainers, he waited for all the spectators to gather around before he bailed in a ditch. Man and Bicycle unite in one Cool Koeksister. Untangling them proved to be quite a challenge.
Ditch:1. Coolsister: 0.
There were a 30-second-sprint, and then, sadly, the shopping-mall came into sight, signalling the end of yet another beautiful night.
As quietly as they appeared out of nowhere, our knightriders disappeared again, back into nowwhere. Some went in for hot chocolate, others drove off into the starlit night, some others cycled home with the weather-goddess' displeasure still visible in the distance.
It would be a whole week before they could come out to play again, before they would feel this alive again.
The end.

******
Disclaimer:
Based on a true story. Names and places were not changed, but the summer-weeds growing all over the tracks might have taken its toll on the geographically-challenged scribe: Was it on this ride that they were joined by the D&D virgins who did VO2max hill with them, took pictures at the top, and then disappeared? Was it on this ride that the knightriders went through End of the World Singletrack?
The scribe accepts no responsibility for names of places, trails or downhills that are mentioned totally out of order, context or dimension.

There were a few other wannabe-falls. If you feel that your fall were spectacular enough to warrant a place in the annals of the ride, contact the scribe directly or on the mailing list. The scribe's decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.

chronicles of the knightriders

It was early November. The erosion caused by the frequent summer-rains meant that familiar downhills were suddenly far more rutted than they were on the last few dusty winter-nights. Fresh new summer-weeds grew merrily all over the familiar trails, hiding the track in general, and the new potholes & ruts in particular, from the unsuspecting rider. The old familiar trails were new and exciting once more.
There were also the new single tracks, new challenges & new obstacles that came with moving to a new venue.
The scene was set for a few spectacular falls.
The knightriders were not disappointed. If there were an award for the most spectacular fall of the year, then the finalists would probably all come from the same ride.
***
Our story begins with a few intrepid cyclists, and then some more, greeting each other and chatting away as they were getting their bikes and lights ready for the weekly ritual that changes ordinary mountain bikers into exceptionally cool people. The weather-goddess put on a feeble attempt to scare our 20-odd Warriors of the Dirt with an electrical power display on the horizon. But by now they were used to her unpredictable whims, and like true Conquerors of the Dark, they all just ignored her. She sometimes does go away if you do that. And it was going to be an intro/xtro ride anyway, so if she does get grumpy later, the riders could just all opt out of the xtro-ride.
So, off they went. Hardy showed them an awesome playground with some short turns, drops, jumps, everything a dirty warrior could want :)
He allowed them to play a little, and then they were off to new challenges –
Up someone's single track, down someone else's route, up this way, down that way – and then suddenly something would look familiar again.
Big Dipper was coming up. The ideal spot for the Mummy to test his most recent acquirement: the custom-built green light that dims and brights with the speed of the bicycle. So down they went, a mad dash of single file-bikes, down to the bottom of the hill. Faster and faster. Will the light be bright enough to handle the Mummy's famous downhill-speed? Will the light be bright enough to reveal the ruts and rocks hidden under weeds, dust & starlight?
Stay tuned for another episode of the chronicles of the knightriders.

In search of Dirt

The Vitalstatistics:

The date: 20 March 2007

The occasion: a Beeg Nite Out

The distance: 79.9 kays

Time out there: 6 hours 18 minutes

The actual riding time: 4 hours 30 minutes

The average: 17.8 km/h

The altitude gain: 680 metres

The Cast:

16 nightriders: Oupa Gert, PowerGirl (with the usual heavy AR backpack), Hardy (with the usual heavy backpack with the baseball bat sticking out to scare any potential attackers), QT, Bennie, Sybrand, Wollies, the Thug, D1, William, Con, Pieter, Ian, JP and Marius. And I

The Scene:

Each D&D outride starts the same: You arrive at the D&D centre; get your bicycle ready, check the lights, greet everyone else (this usually gets noisier the more girls there are on a particular ride), & sometimes chatting to someone who can’t ride that night but arrives in his work attire to wish you well.

Wednesday was a public holiday, offering (some) the rare opportunity to sleep in after the previous night’s ride. So Tuesday simply had to be a beeg nite out.

The riders for the night included the old-timers, the every-timers, the some-timers & even a new face.

You wait for the last cyclists to get their bicycles ready for the night’s adventure, then ride to the garage to meet Hardy & Bennie where they stocked up on jungle bars - and finally the games can begin.

Headlights, Taillights, Helmets, and … Action!

Like all other D&D rides, the ride starts by flying down king-of-the-hill, around the traffic circle & then onto the dirt track. Unlike other dirty nights, this happened in broad daylight ‘cause you (at least tried to) leave a little earlier than usual.

So it was on to the air force base, around the garage-corner, down VO2Max hill into the sunset, over the sewerage-stream, down to the SPCA, & next to the railway lines. Switch off your headlamp, because it only lights up the dust kicked up by the bicycle in front of you. The last thing that looks vaguely familiar is the area around Smuts house – and then – gone. ‘Cause as soon as you get to know the cycling routes, a new fence is erected, a new development is built, or the Hardenburgs think up a new route. Just to keep it interesting – and to keep you coming back for more 

Some shockwaves as you pass under power cables, then through a veld on fire, & on to a sweet track with a squatter camp on one side where Elsie’s wheel decided it’s enough. A quick fix, & you’re on the road again, with excited greetings & shouts from the community members – they probably don’t see 16 cyclists (at night, nogal) riding right past their camp.

Now onto corrugated dirt road with Sybrand telling stories (and asking Bennie & Hans every now and again to confirm it) about QT’s need for speed when they scouted the route a few weeks ago.

After some mad chases up QT’s hill, you reach the first jungle-bar-stop and Hardy tells the legend of the ghost of a girl from a long time ago … with the appropriate light-effects to go with it when you signalled the ghost-girl, nogal.

After the brief spell, you’re on the road again. But Hardy discovers a flat tyre. Pump. Race down the hill. Flat. Stop. Change tubes. Pump. Race to catch up with the others. Flat again.

Starry skies. No wind. No sound, except from the 16 slightly crazy cyclists. No moon – the only light is from 16 bicycles with 15 headlamps & 15 handlebar-lights and the occasional ambulance or rattlecar (from driving on the corrugated roads too often) passing slowly to witness the spectacle. The long yellow grass & dry dust tells you that it is autumn already. There’s a chill in the air that confirms the end of summer.

Hardy pumps. Hans pumps. Hardy pumps. QT watches. QT comments. Bennie comments. Sybrand comments. Finally you’re on the road again.

The pace picks up, & then you get to the end of the corrugated road. Hardy’s magical backpack produces hot coffee for all. There’s talk of easing the pace a little, but that’s promptly forgotten as soon as you hit the road again. You try to keep up with Oupa Gert and the Tug on the dirt next to the tar road, with a few stops to regroup. Then you turn into proper dirt road again.

It’s a perfect windless starry night. No sound, except wheels turning & cyclists chirping & chatting. You want to be no-where else than on your bicycle on that moment on that road. And with these slightly crazy people 

By the time you reach the garage, everything’s closed. So Hans rigs the locked tap, you fill your bladder, you eat your jungle bar, and then you cycle off into the night again.

There are lots of warnings from Hardy (with confirmation from Bennie) about the loose rock on the next downhill, but it’s paved now. You switch off your headlight because it only lights up the dust, and then it’s downhill, regroup, more downhill, regroup. Then a magical rocky uphill single track – most attempted it, some walked it, some almost cycled it all the way to the top – wow, well done! You will have to come back one day & cycle the whole darn thing 

Oupa Gert’s wheel requires a quick pump, & then you speed off into the darkness again.

An uphill. QT picking up the pace again … and picking it up, and picking it up until you’re almost dead at the top of the hill – gee-whiz girl, where do you get all the energy? Bennie fixes your breaks, & then you’re ready again. Some tar, & then off to the right in search of single track once more.

From somewhere you join Atterbury road. You stay on the sweet downhill single track all the way. In the back of your mind there’s something vaguely familiar about where you are – and a gnawing feeling that there’s a mountain between where you are & where your car’s parked. But the current moment is the only one that exists – and oh what fun it is to ride downhill single track in the dark!

Then you hit Hans Strydom. Bennie says goodbye & cycles off home.

There’s something blissful about not knowing where you are – ignorance of the hills to come make them somehow more tolerable. But you know where you are. And there’s no getting away from it: the only way to get back to your car, is over that mini-mountain.

But the current moment is the only one that exists. So you put your head down & conjure up the energy to cycle up the hill. Those traffic lights in the distance, they are at the top. There is no other life; there is only now.

Long live Elsie-with-the-backpack, Queen of Hans Strydom hill! You go, girl!

It’s a downhill cruise to the shopping centre & the cars. Another hill conquered. Another magical night in the dark. Fifteen dirty happy slightly crazy riders, 15 dusty bicycles & 15 huge smiles. What a night!

The Credits

Coffee provided, carried & kept warm by the Hardenburgs.

Scouting of the route done by the Hardenburgs, Sybrand, Bennie, Hans, Oupa Gert.

Sweeping courtesy of Hans

The excellent company en route – provided by all the knightriders – thank you SO much everyone for keeping training fun!!

Special thanx to Clinton & QT for the enthusiasm that keeps the night-rides alive, fun, entertaining, interesting & excellent training.